The only football player whose shadow is armed is Lionel Messi.
Yassine Cheuko, an ex-Navy Seal with a thick beard and a shaved head, guards his client like a president in a war zone while he plays for Inter Miami, staring down excited fans and shooing away kids trying to take selfies. During a recent game, a young pitch invader wearing a Messi jersey made a run for his idol but was met with Cheuko’s torso when he arrived. Messi is like the sun in that you should certainly take advantage of his presence and revel in his radiance, but you must pray that you do not look him in the eye, and if you touch him, you will perish.
Messi fever, which has afflicted Miami and Major League Soccer since his arrival in June, has many odd symptoms. This is just one of them. Before he kicked a ball, Messi’s pink shirt outsold every sports jersey ever sold in a 24-hour period, bringing in $600 million, surpassing Tom Brady’s switch to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Cristiano Ronaldo’s return to Manchester United. The Instagram following of Miami increased dramatically from 1 million to 15 million followers, outpacing that of every NFL team.
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